oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize