i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
