At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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