My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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