Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
