who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
