I think my fart just growled at me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
