Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
