I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
