Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we're chasing vodka with high fives
no you cant smoke seaweed
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
