I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
