I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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