need another drink. this is the easiest way
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
