I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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