I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
