dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
worst night to have a conscience
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
