Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
