I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
