I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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