so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
