Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
