sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
