That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
