I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize