just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think pants incapable of making pants work
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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