look no pants
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
