Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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