is your mom at the bar?
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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