then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize