Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
