the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I understand Curling. That high.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
