My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
