Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
