I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
