Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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