I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
