She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
