I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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