we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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