its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
