I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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