This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
