God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it glows. i had to have it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize