Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
