Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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