Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
