haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just invented taco cereal.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
