is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
