So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
