I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
