did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
