So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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