Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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