can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The air taste purple.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
