Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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