Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
