Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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