OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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