i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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