I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
