i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
