i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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