Porn is love you can see.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
