yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
