absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
