id be glad to
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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