Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize