She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize