ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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