On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
