i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
