I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
