Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
