I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
